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The boerewors man

It was the early evening. The Smith family were sitting on their patio enjoying the smell of roasting boerewors.

“Dad! Please hurry up!” Hayley moaned, “I’m soooo hungry!”

“Almost done!” called her father.

“Oh good, he’s taking the sausages off the braai,” she thought.

“Ta-da!” said her father as he held up two pieces of boerewors sausage twisted together. It looked just like a little man.

“A boerewors man!” said her mother and laughed.

Hayley opened her mouth to take a big bite of boerewors.

“No!” a deep voice cried. “You can’t eat me!”

Hayley jumped and let go of the Boerewors Man.

“You … you can talk!” she stuttered.

“Well, of course I can talk!” The little man got up and brushed himself off. “And you can’t eat me!”

“But I’m starving!” Hayley complained, “And anyway, how can talk and walk?”

The Boerewors Man looked at all the people sitting on the patio then ran off across the yard and squeezed under the gate!

“Catch him!” shouted Hayley.

Following after Hayley, the rest of the Smith family ran out the gate and, as fast as they could, they ran down the road after the Boerwors Man. They passed another family out walking their dog.

“Where are you going?” asked the father.

“We’re trying to catch the Boerewors Man! Help us!” said Hayley.

So, the Smiths and the other family and their dog all ran down the middle of the road trying to keep the little man in sight. As they turned into the next road, they met a fruit seller wearing a blue-patterned doek that covered her pink, plastic curlers. Hayley shouted to her to help them. The fruit seller wrapped her thin jersey around her shoulders and ran to join the party chasing the Boerewors Man. He was still ahead of them and e began to sing:

They’ll never catch me,

No matter how they try

I’m too fast for them   

As I run by!”

….

Hiip! Hiip!” The fruit seller nearly jumped out of her skin. A shaggy brown pony pulling a rickety cart came trotting up behind her.

“We’re after that Boerewors Man,” she explained to the cart driver.

Ja, okay, you can ride with us in the cart,” he offered.

Next a taxi pulled up on the corner. A dozen people poured out and the driver shouted out the window, “Peninsula Road! Come, come, let’s go!”

Hayley turned round to everyone behind and shouted, “Hurry! Look – a taxi!”

“Hey! Out of the way!” shouted the driver. “What are you doing in the middle of the road?”

“Please can we ride in your taxi? We are chasing the Boerewors Man!” panted Hayley anxiously.

“Okay, climb in,” said the taxi driver. “I’ll drive after him!”  Everyone piled into the taxi and the driver started the engine.

Meanwhile the Boerewors Man was chuckling to himself as he ran. He began to sing another little song:

“Horses and taxis

People and dogs

I’m going to get away

From those greedy hogs!”

The laughing little man ran past a row of houses. The people stared as the dirty-white taxi full of people followed by the rickety old cart came pelting down the road after the Boerewors Man.

“Madness, hey?” said a man to his wife. “They’ll get a fine!”

Soon they all reached Rondevlei. By now, the little Boerewors Man was running a little slower, the pony was pulling a little less fast and the taxi wasn’t swerving around the corners quite so much. But they all still kept going.

Into the Rondevlei Nature Reserve, the little Boerewors Man ran, with the taxi and cart following close behind.

“Stop! No vehicles allowed!” shouted the guard. Everyone hopped out and ran through the gate after the chuckling Boerewors Man.

“You need to pay!” cried the guard, but no-one didn’t hear him. So, the guard locked the gate and ran after them.

He found them all standing at the big vlei. The Boerewors Man was shouting to a big hippopotamus, “Quick! Quick! Help me get away!”

“Aw-right! Hop onto my back,” grunted the hippo.

“Thank you!” said the Boerewors Man. Everyone watched as the big hippo swam towards the other side of the vlei with the Boerwors Man on its back.

When they had got a quarter of the way across the hippo said to the Boerwors Man, “You’re going to get wet. Why don’t you climb up higher to my neck?”

The Boerewors Man did so and they continued across the vlei.

“The water is getting deeper! Climb onto my head!” the hippo called.

The Boerewors Mn jumped onto the hippo’s head and stuck his tongue out at the Smiths and everyone else standing at the edge of the vlei.

Horses and taxis,

People and dogs…”  sang the Boerwors Man.

The hungry group of people glared at the boerewors man, but their dark looks soon turned to wide eyes and loud gasps! The Boerewors Man turned to see what they were staring at…

Swish! Just then an African Fish Eagle swooped down and gulped the Boerewors Man whole!

Everyone groaned.

“Oh, no!” said Hayley sadly. “There goes my supper!”