The Boerewors Man

It was early evening. The Smith family were sitting outside enjoying the smell of boerewors on the braai.

“Dad! Please hurry up!” Hayley moaned. “I’m soooo hungry!”

“Here you go!” her father said a little while later as he handed Haley two pieces of boerewors sausage twisted together. It looked just like a little man.

“A boerewors man!” said her mother and laughed.

Hayley opened her mouth to take a big bite.

“No!” cried a deep voice. “You can’t eat me!”

Hayley jumped up and let go of the Boerewors Man.

“You … you can talk!” she stuttered.

“Of course I can talk!” The little man got up and brushed himself off. “And you can’t eat me!”

“But I’m starving!” Hayley complained.

The Boerewors Man took one look at all the people sitting outside, then he ran across the yard and squeezed under the gate!

“Catch him!” shouted Hayley.

The Smith family followed Hayley out the gate and ran down the road after the Boerewors Man. They passed another family out walking their dog.

“Where are you going?” asked the father.

“We’re trying to catch the Boerewors Man! Help us!” said Hayley.

So, the Smiths and the other family and their dog all ran down the road trying to keep the little man in sight.

As they turned into the next road, they met a fruit seller wearing a blue-patterned doek that covered her pink, plastic curlers. Hayley shouted to her to help them and the fruit seller joined the party chasing the Boerewors Man. Just then the Boerewors Man began to sing:

“They’ll never catch me,
No matter how they try,
I’m too fast for them
As I run by!”

“Hiip! Hiip!” The fruit seller nearly jumped out of her skin as a shaggy brown pony that was pulling a rickety cart came trotting up behind her.

“We’re after that Boerewors Man,” she explained to the cart driver.

“You can ride with us in the cart,” he offered.

Next a taxi pulled up on the corner. A dozen people poured out and the driver shouted out the window, “Peninsula Road! Come, come, let’s go!”

Hayley turned round to everyone following her and shouted, “Hurry! Look − a taxi!”

“Please can we ride in your taxi? We are chasing the Boerewors Man!” Hayley told the taxi driver.

“Climb in,” said the driver. “I’ll drive after him!” Everyone piled into the taxi and off they went.

Meanwhile the Boerewors Man began to sing another song:

“Horses and taxis,
People and dogs,
I’m going to get away
From those greedy hogs!”

Soon they all reached Rondevlei. By now, the little Boerewors Man was running a little slower, the pony was pulling a little less fast and the taxi wasn’t swerving around the corners quite so much. But they all still kept going.

Into the Rondevlei Nature Reserve the little Boerewors Man ran, with the taxi and cart following close behind.

“Stop! No vehicles allowed!” shouted the guard. Everyone hopped out and ran through the gate after the chuckling Boerewors Man.

“You need to pay!” cried the guard, but no one heard him. So, the guard locked the gate and ran after them.

He found them all standing at the big vlei. The Boerewors Man was shouting to a big hippopotamus, “Quick! Help me get away!”

“Hop onto my back,” grunted the hippo. Everyone watched as the big hippo swam towards the other side of the vlei with the Boerewors Man on its back.

When they had got a quarter of the way across, the hippo said to the Boerewors Man, “You’re going to get wet. Why don’t you climb up to my neck?”

The Boerewors Man did so and they continued across the vlei.

“The water is getting deeper! Climb onto my head!” the hippo called.

The Boerewors Man jumped onto the hippo’s head. He gave a cheeky wave at all the people on the bank and started to sing:

“Horses and taxis,
People and dogs…”

The hungry group of people glared at the Boerewors Man, but their dark looks soon turned to wide eyes and loud gasps! The Boerewors Man turned to see what they were staring at …

Swish! Just then a fish eagle swooped down and gulped the Boerewors Man whole!

“Oh, no!” said Hayley sadly. “There goes my supper!”